Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

by John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD

John Gottman, PhD, and his wife, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, psychologists and couples therapists, have explored the secrets of happy relationships for decades. In their joint work, they present eight essential topics of conversation to help couples keep their love alive.

  1. Trust and commitment: The foundation of every relationship.
  2. Conflict resolution: Dealing constructively with disagreements.
  3. Sex and intimacy: Communicating openly about wants and needs.
  4. Work and finances: Shared understanding of financial goals.
  5. Family: Relationships with relatives and their influence on the partnership.
  6. Fun and adventure: Shared activities to strengthen the bond.
  7. Personal growth and spirituality: Supporting individual development.
  8. Dreams: Sharing and pursuing shared and individual life goals.

Each chapter is dedicated to one of these topics and offers practical exercises, questionnaires, and discussion guides alongside theoretical insights. The authors emphasize that couples should consciously take time for these conversations and cultivate open, appreciative communication.

This book is a valuable tool for couples at any stage of their relationship – whether newly in love or together for decades. The practical advice and structured conversation guidelines promote a deeper understanding of each other and can help strengthen the relationship and recognize potential conflicts early.

The clear language and everyday examples make it easily accessible. However, implementing the suggested conversations requires time and commitment from both partners.

🎧 Suitable as an audiobook? For first-time “reading” yes – but to carry out the exercises and look up the questionnaires, you should refer to the print version.

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